Tomorrow is the big one. America’s birthday. It’s a day-to-night event that starts on a body of water, either chlorinated, salty, or fresh, followed by some variety of meat cooking and an ultimate pyro-level celebration of our great nation. The theme is red, white, and blue. Simple. Here’s how to do it right, with a little extra credit:
1. Atlantic Drift Mahi Visor: Be bold. Expect this to get dunked quite a few times. Try to keep it on your head while you slalom.
2. Ray Ban Classic Wayfarers: It doesn’t get any more classic than a pair of Ray Ban Wayfarers. Think JFK.
3. Birdwell Limited Edition “Old Glory” Beach Britches: The coolest trunks that no one talks about. And these bad boys are a special edition just for the 4th.
4. Onward Reserve Penley Colonial Flag T-shirt: An awesome America shirt. And Penley to boot… all good in our hood… if this flag offends you, quit reading this blog, immediately.
5. Hari Mark Flip Flops: Better than Rainbows.
6. Hudson Sutler Montauk Cooler Bag: Never show up to a party empty-handed. This new bag from Hudson Sutler holds a 12 pack, and has a front pocket for your koozie, sunscreen, and backup koozie.
To drink: Budweiser. Come at me.
To eat: Hot dogs and hamburgers. Easy and easy. Extra mustard. And AMERICAN cheese.
Tunes: “The Big Chill” soundtrack. Try it. No good music has been made since 1999, so stick with the classics.
7. Sid Mashburn Polo Shirt: Best to go dark so you don’t see all the spills that are sure to happen.
8. Orvis Americana Hat: I’m not a big hat-at-night guy, but this one makes the cut. Especially on Independence Day.
9. Smathers & Branson Flags of our Fathers Belt: A history lesson for your waist.
10: Southern Proper Red, White, and Blue Seersucker Shorts: The red, white, and blue is a really nice up-do to the traditional seersucker, and the inseam is pretty aggressive. Just like you.
11: Cole Haan Howland Penny Driving Loafers: Somebody’s mom and dad will show up, so try to spruce up your look, just a touch. These are the denominator of driving loafers. Everyone’s got them, everyone has worn a pair out and/or watched their dog tear one apart.
To drink: Budweiser. Keep it real. Bring out the good bourbon after the fireworks.
To eat: Ribs and slaw. Does it get any better?
Tunes: Stream the Dead50 show from Chicago. Shed a tear cause you aren’t there.
“If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight…”