Back Nine Shorts + A Rant.

This post was planned as soon as I did the ‘Front Nine’ a couple weeks ago.  Since then, some interesting things have happened.  First, I dropped off a serious stack of “shorts” at my tailors to be shortened to a 6″ inseam, the length that the Good Lord intended, and second, I stopped into Golfsmith to have some work done to my clubs (more on this later).

I walked around Golfsmith for a bit, and hit a few balls into the nets with my better half.  There was a big apparel sale, so I tried to find something in the mens section.  Nada.  There is a serious problem going on right now with golf style.  It seems that the only options available, or at least the only selections being marketed, are cheaply made, highly technical fabrics that are a mish-mash of ‘classic’ argyle-type neon patters with matching shorts.  Add in the white belt (disgusting), and white shoes, and it looks like a costume for a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Musical On Ice, or a laser tag team uniform.  It’s awful.  I see this stuff on the course, and it makes me shake my head.  I’m really excited to see this trend come to an end.

Peter Millar is a mainstream leader in getting things back on the right track, so I’ll tip my tour visor to them.  Keep it up, folks.

Now, if you want to show a little flare on the course, there is plenty of room for that, but it doesn’t require a a glorified leisure suit.  In the Front Nine, we talked about anything but khaki shorts, which focused on color.  Now, let’s get into the patterns.  These are the options that only need something simple on top: a white polo, a navy polo, or maybe a pink polo.  Nothing to distract from what you’ve got going on below the belt.  Folks – make it rain:

From top left:

1. J. McLaughlin Dean Floral Shorts:  A great option this time of year.  The floral pattern shows you don’t take yourself too seriously, but you need to be confident out there when pulling these off.
2. Sid Mashburn Batik Shorts:  Along the same lines, but the fabric is so cool.  It’s almost a nod to the tie-dye…and there’s nothing wrong with getting a little hippie on the golf course.
3. Brooks Brothers Madras Shorts:  Madras should be the go-to option for warm weather fabrics.  It’s breathable, it’s comfortable, and it’s so much more stylish than something polyester.
4. Pendleton Madras Shorts:  There are some loud madras options, so you have plenty of options across the board.  These from Pendleton would look great with a simple white polo and a pair of saddles.
5. Gant Rugger Check Shorts:  Sticking with the checks…the key with these is to wear the right inseam.  Otherwise you might look like a skater.  Get them up to the 6″-7″ range, and you’ll be in business.
6. Uniqlo Linen/Cotton Check Shorts:  Linen is another option for golf shorts that will let you breathe.  Uniqlo has some great cost-friendly options, but they will require some inseam work.  These look great, so it’s worth it.
7. J. Crew Factory Ikat Shorts:  Fun fabric for the whimsical at heart…
8. J. Crew X Wallace & Barnes Camo Shorts:  Camo seems to be in style now, which is fine.  It needs to be done right.  This take by J.Crew and Wallace & Barnes paired with a light pink polo would create quite the juxtaposition…
9. Vivienne Westwood Bombay Madras Shorts:  More madras…this time in the tough-to-find larger check.  Go big, right?  I don’t go out there to lay up…