PSA: Gators Style

Being that I’m the best-dressed guy you know, I take that responsibility to heart.  I like to give back.  Participate.  Be there for people who get their style tips from Maxim Magazine.  I’m talking about Florida Gators fans.  It’s tough when your colors are my kids’ first picks from the Crayola box.  Neither orange nor royal blue makes it into many color palettes, so I’m here to lend some advice to our friends down there between Valdosta and Orlando.

Now – there’s a BIG game over in Jacksonville this weekend, against the #1 Georgia Bulldogs.  This is a big one, fam, so it’s important to show up and represent your school(?) and cheer as loud as you can. The Dawgs are going to be barking, so your chomp form must be elite, and not encumbered by such things as tucked-in shirts.

Let’s get ready to rumble:

From top left:

1. Foam Gators Hat: The good news about these hats is that they are readily available at any Citgo or Texaco near a highway.  And the price is usually pretty digestible.  Chances are this will get lost during the public intoxication arrest or random stadium fight, so this is more of a value buy.
2. Knock-Off Yeti Gators Cup: Get a BIG one for your Red Bull and Vodka.  Straw optional.
3. (Official) Tebow Jersey: “NO ONE is going to (pull) harder for the Gators than (enter name of the person wearing this jersey).  Straight pimp, son.
4. Orange Camo Pants: The whole jorts thing is tired.  Too easy of a target by those pesky, well-dressed Bulldog fans.  This game is going to be a war.  Dress appropriately.  And – you can cut them off next Spring and get a TON of wear during Summer ’24.
5. White Crocs: Not a lot of parking in Jacksonville, so get something comfortable that can handle a few miles.  Crisp white is the way to go.

Good luck out there.  I hope everyone has fun and no one gets hurt.