Grizzard: “That Dog’ll Bite You”

Yep, tomorrow is one of the oldest rivalries in college football: the Georgia Bulldogs face the Auburn Tigers, which this year looks to be the equivalent of two AAA high school teams making sure their cleats are on the right feet.  It’s a noon game, for God’s sake…when was the last time UGA and Auburn played with a noon kickoff??

Well, I’m sure we’ll all be watching anyway.

UGA vs. Auburn has a nice little connection to Lewis Grizzard and the “That Dog’ll Bite You” quote…here you go:

That Dog’ll Bite You

“Got to tell the dog story. There’s somebody left who hasn’t heard the dog story.

We are playing Auburn. Sanford Stadium. National Television. Winner wins the Southeastern Conference; goes to the Sugar Bowl.

85,000 people jammed into Sanford Stadium. National television audience. This game is on the Armed Service Network. People in Switzerland are seeing this ballgame. Going everywhere.

The band cranks up “Glory, Glory to Ole Georgia” and our team comes running out. 85,000 stand as one.

We are led by our gallant mascot, UGA-U-G-A. What a dog! What a gorgeous dog. What a symbol of ferocity. But UGA ain’t real smart. UGA did not realize he was at a football game. Nor did he realize he was on national television, and was going into living rooms the width and breadth of this great nation.

And there, in front of all them people, he began to lick himself where dogs occasionally want to lick themselves, ok?

We don’t have to get any more graphic than that.

Bubba an’ Earl sittin’ on the fifty.

Bubba sees the dog, punches earl and said, ‘Earl, look at that dog. Dadgum, I wish I could do that.’

Earl said, ‘ Bubba, that dog’ll bite you!’”


And to complete the “been there, done that, and got the t-shirt”, here you go:




  1. Perry
    11/13/2015 / 9:22 AM

    I once saw Lewis do his stand-up routine in Birmingham, Alabama @ Samford University. Though I had heard on cassette tape most of what made up his routine that evening I laughed until tears flowed and my sides hurt. There was no one else like him.

  2. BCM
    11/13/2015 / 1:38 PM

    Can’t spell Sugar without UGA!

  3. Michael David Austing
    12/21/2020 / 3:49 PM

    My wife and I, both “damned Yankees”, moved to Baton Rouge, LA shortly after I ETSd from the Army Military Police Corps. We first watched a TV program with Lewis and he told this story. Even being those “damned Yankees” we learned to laugh at his presentations (and ourselves!). He died way too young; it’s a shame the younger generations won’t get to see him!

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